Jump to content



This Isnt The Creatures Under My Bed....


  • You cannot reply to this topic
39 replies to this topic

#1 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 04:28 PM

No its the creatures in My head.... I'm leaving Ghost Forum for a while.... I need to assess myself....Whether I even want to EXIST..... at this point I couldnt care.... Thanks for the welcomes, the support and the brief friendship I had with a few....
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#2 JIMOverSeer

 

    Forum Owner

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,189 posts
  • Gender:Male
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 04:36 PM

If you can't talk to friends or family... maybe you can at least tell us what's going on. We hate to see you leave in such a distressed way. Depression, uncertainty?
.

#3 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 04:41 PM

My family....My mom and I fought and she called me her "Accident", my dad is dead so family is out of the question. My boyfriend pretty much told me he gives up on life....I feel alone! I tried to help him.....I cant save anyone....Ive lost so many to suicide. I keep trying to talk them out of it....but i cant even talk MYSELF out of it.

My mom told me as far as shes concerned she has only a son. not her daughter. Which Kills me inside. My boyfriend is my whole world and he wants to give up....

I feel alone....I have nobody else... They're it....
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#4 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 04:59 PM

Sorry to burden....
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#5 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 05:12 PM

i dont knoww how  else to handle all of this..... I cant even understand why its all happening.... I really need to assess whether or not i want to exist...

Well anyway..... Thanks... I'll see you guys ig
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#6 JIMOverSeer

 

    Forum Owner

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,189 posts
  • Gender:Male
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 06:20 PM

How old did you say you are? 14? If so, that's a really tough age for these kinds of worries.

So your mom is angry with you and lunges out and says you are an accident. She was obviously mad at the time. And so what, even if that were the case in her mind, you are in actuality, a brave, beautiful, caring and amazing person. Think about it, because you know it's true. That's the person I'm seeing in my mind. And yes, you need some help & support. And you will find it but not by giving up! Start by asking your boyfriend to toughen up for the both of you! Calling it quits will leave you exactly where you are now, nowhere. And if you're considering ending your life, think again! There's not a lot of glory on the other side for quitters. If you're looking for a way out of this, then stop thinking that escape is the answer because it's only leaving you at a dead stop.

Right now you're doing it all wrong. Start by putting any thought of escape, out of your mind... that's not what you really want anyway. What you want and need is love, kindness and support. And the way to find it is to be positive because positive attracts positive and that will move you in the right direction. Don't be around people that are pulling you down. Make things right with your mom even if it's all on you and all one-sided at first. She will come around. She's the piece in the puzzle you need right now. Your emotions are frail and your mind is weak. So look for medical help as well. You are probably already seeing someone... and if that's the case, let them know it's not working. A change of prescription or mental exercises are in order or whatever else it takes. But see someone this week. And I don't have to tell you this, but there are hot lines out there for a reason. So if things get worse, make a call.

You'll get through this but unfortunately, it's all on you right now and that's okay, because you're tougher than you think!  ;)
.

#7 blazegardner

 

    EVP

  • GS Member
  • 89 posts
  • Gender:Male
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 06:49 PM

Jim I couldn't have said that any better I agree 100% with everything you've said.

Stripes I understand how you're feeling in a way because I have dealt with depression too after my baby brother has passed I had succumbed to depression and even at one point thought of ending it all that and finding out that my uncle was a pedophile and having kids at my school making fun of me because of him was the worst and lowest point in my life.
I never thought id be a happy person again but life in fact does get better and I began to realize that those people are toxic and did not deserve to be involved in my life whatsoever so I cut them off completely and I began to spend a lot of time completely alone so I could better understand who I was as a person and eventually my depression anxiety and self hate faded away.

Please note that this may or may not work for you as everybody is different and you should surround yourself with friends who are loving and caring go out explore meet new people and just try to have as much fun as you can.

I only share my personal experiences with you because I want you to know life is precious and very unpredictable meaning anybody anytime anywhere can enter it and change the way you think and see things completely for the better, so stay strong and get better.

#8 JIMOverSeer

 

    Forum Owner

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,189 posts
  • Gender:Male
 

Posted 29 March 2016 - 08:14 PM

Blaze... thank you for coming to the rescue.... I so appreciate the backup!  B)
And thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom!

Some may think this is just a pity party and avoid this topic completely... but who are we to judge, right?

Get better kid, we're pulling for you!
.

#9 Snowlord

 

    Ghoststudy's Official Photo Expert

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,219 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New Brunswick, Canada
  • Interests:Photography ... Chess ... Nature ... Astronomy ... Kicking Butt...stuff like that.
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 03:20 AM

View PostStripes_Tha_Proxy, on 29 March 2016 - 05:12 PM, said:

...  I really need to assess whether or not i want to exist...

You definitely do want to exist, even if you are not feeling it at the moment. Time is your friend here, and if you give yourself enough time you will come out of this ok. There are many wonderful experiences waiting for you in this world, and more than 7 billion people you can meet. The possibilities are amazing, and you just need to give yourself time to learn how to embrace them.

#10 lorac61469

 

    Succubus

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 732 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 04:49 AM

Things will get better.  

But if you're in a really bad place, before you do anything please call this number...

1(800) 273-8255

http://www.suicidepr...ionlifeline.org



#11 KlaineyGStudy

 

    Forum Manager

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,687 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 04:52 AM

Hi, strips I think you are taking the first steps, of choosing life, by telling us how you are feeling. I know life can be pretty terrible at times but it can also be beautiful too.

I think some people also avoid topics like this because they don't know what to say or they don't want to say the wrong thing.

There are a lot of people out there that want to help and support you. You just need to reach out and grab their hands and don't stop reaching until you find that person you feel comfortable with to help you. Life is wonderful, be the survivor, not the victim. Learn to love yourself first, find one thing each morning that you are grateful to see and choose life.  

All my children were accidents, I love them dearly and I chose to have them. I am sorry your mother's words hurt you; mother's aren't always right.
My Signature
Posted Image


Visit us here: Facebook or Twitter

#12 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 07:53 AM

Well....Thanks guys....Not so sure of everything that happened....I know I was very stressed and came very close to stuff so yeah
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#13 JIMOverSeer

 

    Forum Owner

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,189 posts
  • Gender:Male
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 10:03 AM

Well, it sounds like you are in a better place today.  :pirate:

The words shared were for you and all the lurkers/members out that that are in a similar place.

Let's get out there and make this day better for us and for those around us!  :)
.

#14 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 12:36 PM

kinda ig....still in that dark place....
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#15 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 12:47 PM

everyone says I need love.... but i dont have that....with my boyfriend yes, but he cant be there ALL the time ike my family should...but they could honestly care less! haha... who am I kidding? even if I died I couldnt catch a break.... I'm sick of feeling stuck...I'm sick of hating myself.... I'm sick of everything.
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#16 Vlawde

 

    Exorcism

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,029 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Fair Oaks Ca
  • Interests:Music, games, movies, the paranormal
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 12:49 PM

No reason to hate yourself.
My Signature
Posted Image

#17 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 12:54 PM

theres so much for me to hate! I told my own father that he was going to die! I can't do anything right... Maybe my mom was right... hehe.... maybe i wont do anything right
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#18 Vlawde

 

    Exorcism

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 12,029 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Fair Oaks Ca
  • Interests:Music, games, movies, the paranormal
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 12:59 PM

You're at a tough age to go through. Just hang in there. I always say that feeling depressed/angry/whatever is like a cold. You feel terrible, but always remember it's just temporary and will go away..it's not permanent
My Signature
Posted Image

#19 Stripes_Tha_Proxy

 

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 128 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Nowhere... and everywhere..
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 01:06 PM

i hope not.... i hope it doesnt stay.... i just wanna be with my dad again...
My Signature
Secrets are like hearts, Everyone has one, some are just darker than others

#20 MichelleGStudy

 

    Moderator

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,425 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Beaufort, NC
  • Interests:I am in private practice with a primary focus on treatment & management of eye disease. I enjoy astronomy, paranormal Investigating, visiting cemeteries, geocaching, gold panning, metal detecting & things of that nature.
 

Posted 30 March 2016 - 05:08 PM

Stop.  Look in your soul - if you are not in this world - right here and now - then none of this matters. That can't be true. I will speak for myself when I say I have been in that dark place.  I was writing a letter to my daughter (who was less than 1 year old at the time - now 19) about when she was old enough to actually understand my letter to her - how she was perfect & none of this was her fault. I only wanted out. Her father walked in, took the paper from my hands and asked one thing.  "Do you think she will believe this? You will not even be here to explain it because you left her.' He was right.

I have never hurt so bad in my life as to hear those words but I needed to hear them.  This is not what your father wants for you. I am a product of my mother's affair - every time she looks at me & I am 44, she sees her mistake, not me. I can't imagine any biological father loving their child more than the man that raised me as his own.  I can't ask him these questions now because he is gone.  I don't have to, as he taught me this long before passing.

Don't look at yourself as you have written here - look at yourself as the the small, innocent & worthy person that your father saw & sees.

My apologies for the unsolicited advice - but I know how dark it is right now - but it will not be forever.

Just don't you give up on you.





Skin Designed By Evanescence at IBSkin.com