Ghostly Beliefs And The Effect On Friendships
Posted 14 August 2009 - 12:13 AM
For example, I had a sort-of friend on another website with some very traditional Christian beliefs. NOTE: I'm not mentioning this to encourage any sort of religious debate--only to give a context for her reaction. Since she lives in London, I recommended that she do a ghost tour on Halloween night. She said that the idea of ghosts (and even Halloween itself) makes her uncomfortable because she thinks that people either go to heaven or hell and that paranormal entities are obviously demonic, and that's the reason she doesn't even want to deal with ghosts. I explained that my opinion that ghosts are the souls of the dead. When I asked if my differing beliefs on the matter would hurt our friendship, she said "not really." Which is different from saying "no" or "of course not." And after that, she never talked to me quite the same or as often. I think my non-Biblical approach to the paranormal really put her off.
I've also had people who have no background or interest in the paranormal look at me really funny when I reveal my interest in paranormal investigating. It's not a moment that can be taken back. Anyone had this happen? Like now that you've revealed your "odd" hobby, you know that's what they're going to think about every time they see you from now on?
How have your beliefs in the paranormal affected your relationships?
Posted 14 August 2009 - 03:38 AM
Never had a relationship spoiled by my interest in the paranormal, or my particular religion, my politics, my fandoms, or even my status as a crazy cat lady -- because discussions of such matters happen long before there is a relationship. Example -- if a guy asks me for a date, the first question is do you like cats. If he doesn't like cats, then we never have a relationship, because we never have that date.
And I'm really far to old to care if people look at me funny because I believe or don't believe in something. I'm old enough to wear pink bobby socks, grubby timberland hiking shoes with peddal pushers and a blue man's tee shirt to work and don't care at all what anyone thinks. Night shift doesn't have a dress code, and I'm there to work, not impress anyone.
Posted 14 August 2009 - 05:01 AM
...and none of them are people that judge me. (maybe out on the fringes of the circle, and it doesn't affect me much if at all.)
However, I faced some discrimination when I was going to college in another city, when newish friend discovered my religion (not exactly a secret, but not exactly something I bring up, it's not THAT important in most cases) and my mixed race heritage.
I think it's the "race mixing" that happened as ancestors arrived in the US that offended her more than anything I had control over.
IMHO "race" doesn't really exist. There's just human. (If humans can interbreed with vulcans, well then it's clearly within the same species so no biggie from my POV.)
Posted 14 August 2009 - 06:33 AM
There have been some discussions where we agreed to disagree, but everyone that knows me knows that I respect the views of others so their was never any tension or animosity.
I do ocaisionally get slightly negative reactions from others when they find out I am a skeptic & an athiest. Usually they give be a half disbelief, half pity sort of look, as though I had just told them I have no kidneys or something. Nothing serious, and I just shrug it off. At this stage of my life, I pretty much know who I am.
Posted 14 August 2009 - 10:19 AM
What ???? This is Star Track related..... It has nothing to do with spooks.....lmao
Posted 14 August 2009 - 11:51 AM
Posted 14 August 2009 - 10:10 PM
Posted 15 August 2009 - 10:11 AM
For instance, I got a new job a few months ago. One day in the breakroom some people were talking about something (not paranormal) and someone commented, "So and so said...blah, blah, blah..." and someone else replied, "Well, he should know, he talks to ghosts!" At which time a low chuckle went around the room. I didn't say anything and I've never broached the paranormal topic with this employee who I know has an interest in it. I guess, especially under these circumstances, I like people to get to know me before they hear about that side of me. If I were asked point blank what I think about the paranormal I'd answer honestly, but I don't volunteer it.
Anyone close to me knows my beliefs. Some share them, some don't and just think of it as a "quirk". I really don't see how it should affect a friendship negatively, no matter how religous someone is, unless you're worshiping satan!
Posted 16 August 2009 - 06:58 PM
Posted 17 August 2009 - 05:03 AM
I tell people that if I can get an explanation,I will accept it.
I have neighbors that shun us for it all. Thank goodness that it is illegal run people out of town,or they would try!! AS much as we are trying to avoid the religion of the subjects we are talking about,I think religion plays a huge...HUGE part of the openess to even hear about other people's beliefs. For me it is a double whammy,non-Christian,and paranormal believer. I almost think it is good to weed out the ones that cannot deal early on though! ~Shelley
The night wind whispers and I must follow. Long is the shadow cast by the black wings of fear.
Posted 17 August 2009 - 11:58 AM
My beliefs in the existence of God, however, has caused quite a bit of animosity in some family members.
Posted 18 August 2009 - 08:25 AM
Posted 18 August 2009 - 01:17 PM
I had no idea this particular woman was so invested in her Christianity--or that she'd take such offense at celebrating Halloween or the idea that "ghosts = human souls." I also grew up in a Christian family and my relatives were all about Halloween and believed in human hauntings. So I made an erroneous assumption about what this woman's feelings would be on these subjects. I just had no way of knowing how she'd react. Now I wish I'd never brought it up, since I used to get along really well with this person. I guess it's her loss that she can't deal with the fact that my spiritual beliefs differ from hers.
Posted 18 August 2009 - 09:36 PM
It's sometimes surprising how wide of a variety of beliefs can be covered under one label!
She's Christian, you may be JUST as religious and Christian, but your world views are so widely different.
Posted 18 August 2009 - 09:53 PM
Actually, I'm neither. I was raised as such, but it never took. However, that never stopped she and I from getting along famously up until the specifics of our beliefs were revealed. I had an ex like that too. We went months before the subject of religion came up, and then he went all weird when he found out I didn't believe the same things. Odd how people let such a thing divide them from others so easily.
Posted 19 August 2009 - 11:51 AM
Posted 19 August 2009 - 02:55 PM
Our Dad is very ill and recently has been more open to speaking about spirituality and his thoughts- he has always expressed his lack of belief in the paranormal even though every house we have lived in has been haunted- he has had PLENTY of personal experiences and considers every one of them to have an explanation that doesn't involve ghosts. We all recognize it and see him almost waver in his thoughts, but he has never flat out said he believes in anything paranormal. He does, however, believe people can do things with their own energies.
I've always had close relationships with people I work with one way or another. The last job I had my co-worker was an admitted skeptic and she was just as fun to tease as my brother-in-law. Though when I played my crazy EVP I caught in my house a few years ago for her, she seriously didn't know what to think. (But then, no one does...)
I don't know if I am just so loveable people can look past what they would think is 'crazy' just so they can be near me.
Posted 20 August 2009 - 08:34 AM
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