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Ghostly Beliefs And The Effect On Friendships


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#21 Judecat

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 06:43 AM

QUOTE(AugustineGStudy @ Aug 18 2009, 05:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I had no idea this particular woman was so invested in her Christianity--or that she'd take such offense at celebrating Halloween or the idea that "ghosts = human souls."  I also grew up in a Christian family and my relatives were all about Halloween and believed in human hauntings.  So I made an erroneous assumption about what this woman's feelings would be on these subjects.  I just had no way of knowing how she'd react.  Now I wish I'd never brought it up, since I used to get along really well with this person.  I guess it's her loss that she can't deal with the fact that my spiritual beliefs differ from hers.


See,  this sort of points up the difference from what I consider a friend -- it's more than just getting along with someone.  If someone doesn't know my important things about me,  and I don't know important things about them, then we aren't friends yet.

#22 valkyriechan

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 04:56 PM

my best friend is a once-Christian, turned Buddhist, turned atheist, and very into science. luckily, she's awesome and when i go off on my psychic tangents and talk about ghost sightings, she just let's me rant and smiles and nods. sometimes she'll say "craziness..." but at least it's not "i think you're crazy." happy.gif

i've begun many-a-relationship and expanded my networks considerably simply by always asking every new acquaintance: "do you have any ghost stories?" sure, i got a reputation, but it's a great way to open the subject without letting on too much. you don't have to ask EVERYbody. but i did.

#23 trin

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 09:45 AM

QUOTE(AugustineGStudy @ Aug 19 2009, 12:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Actually, I'm neither.  I was raised as such, but it never took.  However, that never stopped she and I from getting along famously up until the specifics of our beliefs were revealed.  I had an ex like that too.  We went months before the subject of religion came up, and then he went all weird when he found out I didn't believe the same things.  Odd how people let such a thing divide them from others so easily.



Yeah, that's odd... the gal back in college was Furious (to the point of crossing the street if she saw me coming) because I didn't reveal right off that my religion wasn't one of the Usual Flavors for the area....  (I didn't think it was a big deal.)  

She was also, I think, freaked out that I'm "mixed race" (IMHO race is a silly human construct, not like my grandpas were ALIENS or something.)  <Er Um, "Live Long and Prosper" and I can do the Vulcan hand sign too!>

Apparently, being a friend to me would have been some kind of sin. (I've never gotten a clear explanation even from people from that same kind of back ground.)

Re: Halloween
All the American Buddhists I know LURRRVE Halloween.  (It's so Psychological, and excuse to dress up, and there's CANDY! Any holiday involving CHOCOLATE is a GOOD holiday.)

"We're Buddhists Ma'am, we just celebrate the fun holidays."

Edited by trin, 22 August 2009 - 09:50 AM.


#24 Lady Sorbus

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Posted 28 August 2009 - 07:46 PM

Great question Augustine!! While I can't say that any of my relationships have changed in any way, but I do believe that my mother didn't really think I was serious about my interest in the paranormal, til recently. While I know it wasn't real, when I first read about the Michael Jackson "haunting" caught on the Larry King Show, I decided to show my mother just to see what her reaction would be. I'm paraphrasing her response, but it was basically, "How can that be real? The bible says there's no such thing as ghosts." I shrugged in response. Obviously she thought this was just a phase of some sort I am going through. I should say, though, that she's visited the Myrtles Plantation in the past and is quite familiar with all of the hauntings around New Orleans and has even known two people (families) who live(d) in haunted homes. I found her reaction to the Michael Jackson video interesting.

Getting back to your situation, though, I'm sorry that this friend or potential friend distanced herself because of your differing beliefs. As others have said, no matter how you define friendships, if they can't accept you for who you are, then that's their loss. I only know you peripherally here on the forum and I think you're pretty cool.


#25 Ms. Tify

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Posted 29 August 2009 - 06:53 AM

I have learned to not bring up the subject of the paranormal with anyone.  I get enough of people looking at me like I have three heads when I talk about health and nutrition, you can imagine the looks I get when I talk about ghosts.

Someone said never talk about religion or politics, well I just add paranormal to that.  However, if someone brings it up first, then I feel comfortable sharing my experiences.
That rarely happens.  Sigh.
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#26 KlaineyGStudy

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Posted 28 May 2018 - 01:59 AM

Interesting topic.

I am glad to say, no.

People are diverse and they usually respect my beliefs, as I do theirs, and if they don't it doesn't bother me either.  My partner often says the spook did it; being sarcastic!  :rolleyes:
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#27 Snickers

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Posted 31 May 2018 - 05:51 PM

View Postcurious, on 20 August 2009 - 08:34 AM, said:

I guess for me it has shaped the depth of the relationships that I have. Most of the people I know would be VERY uncomfortable with the idea of spirits, energies, psychics etc... so I just dont talk about it with them.( they all think I'm sorta an odd duck anyways, why confirm it :th_sarcastic_blum:  ) They never bring up the subject, so neither do I. It does limit the closeness of our frienships though. Even my husband ,with whom I share most everything, is uncomfortable with it, so i just keep myself to myself.

Me too, I rarely talk about it or tell anyone...Though I'm sure I miss a lot of good discussions.....
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#28 daphnerose

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Posted 31 May 2018 - 05:59 PM

I've learned that I can only talk to certain people for sure.  If someone else brings it up its a great treat for me!!

#29 LouczarGStudy

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Posted 01 June 2018 - 04:59 AM

I will often broach the topic with people in talking about the ghost hunter type shows and see the response.  I find that some people have had experiences and never felt like they could bring it up without people thinking odd things about them.  My coworkers thought I was a little strange regarding hauntings.  They would hear the things from the security guards or cleaning people at work talking to me and realize there must be more to it.
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#30 MrsFrootloops

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Posted 01 June 2018 - 06:54 AM

I wait until I am sure someone really likes me enough to come over to my house, and then when they experience something, I am just like "Oh yeah, I have ghosts by the way."
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#31 daphnerose

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Posted 01 June 2018 - 09:44 AM

Wait til they just get cozy for the night.....




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