Free Skins
© Fisana

Jump to content


Holding A Loved One's Hand After They Died


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 aisLinnZ

aisLinnZ

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 130 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California
  • Interests:Playing Celtic harp, sketching, reading bks of people in a mystical perspective(Abe Lincoln,Hildegard of Bingen,William B. Yeats,Nostrodomus-regular folks , living their beliefs), enjoy forests~

Posted 11 October 2016 - 01:25 PM

This is an odd idea or question, but since my Gram died, when I was 31- that is about when I started my experiences with paranormal/spiritual things. Duh, it didn't dawn on me there is any sort of connection. Gram had been very sentient, and being very Christian(pentacostol) in her later years helped her with her fear of knowing things, or dreaming things or seeing things. She would just say she was 'annointed', and used her sensitiveness selflessly to pray for folks in need, and make a meal etc. She was humble, quiet(except she was a force when she prayed...didn't even seem like gram), and not financially well off, but had a little modest home, and ate lots of stuff from her garden she loved. A humanitarian-I certainly haven't been able to be myself(though, I am modestly).

But when she passed, my aunt called and I rushed to the care home gram was in(she had Alzheimer's very advanced)...as Auntie and I were closest to her, and the family who lived nearest.

But while Auntie had to leave grams room for necessary paperwork, I needed to stay & start gathering grammas things- it had only been hours since she died so she was still in her robe and nightgown in her bed.

•This is my pondering- of all these years since- I had decided I wanted to be quiet with gram, and hold her hand. I was terribly sad-but it was peaceful. Her hand was cold but warmed because I was holding it tight. I did for like an hour. Then Auntie got back and we both did the necessary things , so the staff could begin the things needed next, and we left.

But- is there any connection with my presence, of  being with Gramma so soon after she died, and all the onslaught of spiritual stuff that hit me soon after, and since? She was very intuitive(I grew up feeling every gramma was like that, though I didn't seem to be. And I didn't care if I was anyway..it scared gram-so I wasn't desiring awarenesses myself!) ...I wonder? I have dreams constantly (like last night again) of her....people think its weird, so I don't mention the dreams much. Huh.

Any thoughts? I know it sounds 'out there'. I hadn't had any paranormal/spiritual experiences before her death~ (hope its ok I attached a small pic from yrs back)
Attached File  2016-10-11 14.17.58.jpg   42.04K   8 downloads
"..for those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.."  (and that's ok!~)

#2 Tantric KittenGStudy

Tantric KittenGStudy

    Crop Circle

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,185 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Earth, most of the time.

Posted 11 October 2016 - 02:23 PM

I'm glad you got that time to really stop for a moment and allow death to be present and say goodbye truly.   It's not something that many people have nowadays and that's part of why it seems so unfriendly and grieving is so hard.

Do I think her death had anything to do with your being more open?   No.   I do not.   Not in the way you think.   I think that your acceptance and openness and lack of fear and consequently growth marked you as ready to see what has always been going on around you.
Posted Image

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. --Herm Albright

#3 VlawdeGStudy

VlawdeGStudy

    Board Manager

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,528 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Fair Oaks Ca
  • Interests:Music, games, movies, the paranormal

Posted 11 October 2016 - 03:40 PM

My mom passed away at home. I sat with her for a few minutes before the mortuary people took her. It was good to have a final goodbye. And even though I spoke to her, it was clear she wasn't there any more. I did see and talk with her the day before. My dad passed a few years later. I always had the sense they had moved on and didn't want to look back
Posted Image

#4 Menet

Menet

    Earthbound Spirit

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,081 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Lunatic Cafe
  • Interests:Many

Posted 11 October 2016 - 11:54 PM

View PostTantric KittenGStudy, on 11 October 2016 - 02:23 PM, said:

I'm glad you got that time to really stop for a moment and allow death to be present and say goodbye truly.   It's not something that many people have nowadays and that's part of why it seems so unfriendly and grieving is so hard.

Do I think her death had anything to do with your being more open?   No.   I do not.   Not in the way you think.   I think that your acceptance and openness and lack of fear and consequently growth marked you as ready to see what has always been going on around you.

Nicely put.
The ultimate test of skepticism is questioning your own beliefs-attributed to Johannes Kepler (1571-1630) Mathematician & Astronomer

#5 Mikaru

Mikaru

    Anomaly

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 568 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Minnesota

Posted 12 October 2016 - 03:04 AM

I held my mom's hand during her parting this world. She was scared and didn't want to go at first, then seemed calm for a moment before she passed. I could feel when she left her body. Finally free of emphysema which was tormenting her. It sounds strange, but every time she went to the hospital because of complications I knew she'd be OK and she'd come home feeling better. I didn't have that feeling her last visit and was worried so I went to the hospital. I held her hand for quite awhile after she left.  I still talk to her sometimes.



#6 aisLinnZ

aisLinnZ

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 130 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California
  • Interests:Playing Celtic harp, sketching, reading bks of people in a mystical perspective(Abe Lincoln,Hildegard of Bingen,William B. Yeats,Nostrodomus-regular folks , living their beliefs), enjoy forests~

Posted 12 October 2016 - 09:22 AM

View PostTantric KittenGStudy, on 11 October 2016 - 02:23 PM, said:

I'm glad you got that time to really stop for a moment and allow death to be present and say goodbye truly.   It's not something that many people have nowadays and that's part of why it seems so unfriendly and grieving is so hard.

Do I think her death had anything to do with your being more open?   No.   I do not.   Not in the way you think.   I think that your acceptance and openness and lack of fear and consequently growth marked you as ready to see what has always been going on around you.

Thank you for reading my (long) post~ Yes, Gramma was a lifeboat for my little brother and I, off and on during our chaotic upbringing....I think my being 7 yrs older than my bro made a little difference in how I talked w/Gramma, vs a little boy who wanted to play trucks etc. Though he loved her dearly too. But I guess both gram and I having stuff pretty rough growing up (she 1914-1925, me more the 70's and mid 80's); we had a common-ness, and I understood what she spoke about(she wouldn't tell me traumatic stuff if she thought it would upset me),but later......I think perhaps I was one of few who knew how much she endured,and I could relate. I guess weird a 14 yr old had patience to listen, and wanted too? I was super introverted anyway-and I have always been.

So, we had a closeness enough that when she had B.cancer and I stayed at the Hosp. w/her when I was 25 and I had a baby son by then...I understood when she would reach for my arm and beg me to hide from 'that man coming..hide hide!'...when little, she had to hide from abusive situations. Nurses didn't get it though! But I would calm the nurses..."its ok,I know what she means,I won't leave her".

Yah...I didn't want to let go of her hand when she passed, but knew she was at peace. Perhaps our closeness is why I have constant dreams with her in them. Though it was her time to pass, my heart knows that. But of not having 'fear'....of the wild paranormal experiences I have had after her death- I was terrified. I had 2 little ones, and from the blue I was seeing, hearing, feeling and dreaming tons of things and lost so much weight from anx., I went to the Dr....make sure I wasn't going nuts or something. I still have the experiences, but now accept it all...not always fearless, but way better than 10 yrs back or so!

Yah, gram was a blessing I am grateful for in my young and adult  yrs : )
"..for those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.."  (and that's ok!~)

#7 aisLinnZ

aisLinnZ

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 130 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California
  • Interests:Playing Celtic harp, sketching, reading bks of people in a mystical perspective(Abe Lincoln,Hildegard of Bingen,William B. Yeats,Nostrodomus-regular folks , living their beliefs), enjoy forests~

Posted 12 October 2016 - 09:36 AM

View PostVlawdeGStudy, on 11 October 2016 - 03:40 PM, said:

My mom passed away at home. I sat with her for a few minutes before the mortuary people took her. It was good to have a final goodbye. And even though I spoke to her, it was clear she wasn't there any more. I did see and talk with her the day before. My dad passed a few years later. I always had the sense they had moved on and didn't want to look back

Its good you had a few minutes with her. It does help with closure a bit I think ~ And interesting too, that you sense both parents 'moved' on- I feel that definitely, with recent relatives too. This Summer was a loo looo. 2 passed from older age, an uncle from aneurism, an aunt from cancer and my younger sis is recooping from 5 surgeries and chemo etc. So lost 4 and thankfully not my sis. I feel, too they left, and are not looking back either!~
"..for those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.."  (and that's ok!~)

#8 aisLinnZ

aisLinnZ

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 130 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California
  • Interests:Playing Celtic harp, sketching, reading bks of people in a mystical perspective(Abe Lincoln,Hildegard of Bingen,William B. Yeats,Nostrodomus-regular folks , living their beliefs), enjoy forests~

Posted 12 October 2016 - 09:48 AM

View PostMikaru, on 12 October 2016 - 03:04 AM, said:

I held my mom's hand during her parting this world. She was scared and didn't want to go at first, then seemed calm for a moment before she passed. I could feel when she left her body. Finally free of emphysema which was tormenting her. It sounds strange, but every time she went to the hospital because of complications I knew she'd be OK and she'd come home feeling better. I didn't have that feeling her last visit and was worried so I went to the hospital. I held her hand for quite awhile after she left.  I still talk to her sometimes.

Wow, yes- I admit I believe in those gut feelings. Not that I react every time I have one-but sometimes you just have that strong feeling....I am glad she had a bit of calm-it was good for her, and for you too~and you got to hold her hand;  its hard when a loved one suffers for a long time. My father in law passed w/emphysema and bladder C., and it was tough on my husband & bro in law. They got word he was going faster than first thought so flew from Cali to Ohio (in winter....well,he passed 12/23)...and they all had a last scrabble game together....and father in law was just as much a jokester(between coughing) as always! It was good for them to have that time. Husb. got back 12/21 & papa w. passed 2 days later.

Oh yah, I talk to gram a lot! I always think too-"I want gram to continue her journey~i am not trying to call her back"....that sounds weird, but it helps me not worry that my talking will divert her away from whatever etheric (whatever 'that' is~)path she is on : ) Guess I worry too much!

Thank you for sharing~

Edited by aisLinnZ, 12 October 2016 - 09:56 AM.

"..for those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.."  (and that's ok!~)

#9 Lil73

Lil73

    False Positive

  • GS Member
  • 5 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Interests:Paranormal, Empath, UFO, Aliens, Parallel Universe(s)/Dimensions, Nature, Native American Spirituality, Reading, Crocheting, Weaving, Crafts, Amateur Artist :)

Posted 10 November 2016 - 02:07 PM

I'm so sorry for the loss of your gram.  I lost my father suddenly and was with him when he passed.  I dreamed of his death 10 days before it happened.  That is the only premonition dream I've ever had concerning death.  The night I had the dream, it was vivid, we were at his funeral.

I called my mom a couple of days later and told her I had a bad feeling and if she would make an appointment for him at the doctor.  We found out it was pancreatic cancer and the next day he was gone.

I had several vivid dreams of dad in the 6 months after his death.  The most intriguing dream was me inside an unfamiliar house, trying to find an envelope that he wanted me to find.  I'm in this gray, cement basement and I see  hole in the wall near the floor  As I approach it, I see my dad walking up a few stairs to my left.  I run up and call to him, he stops at a door and turns to reach to my outstretched hand.  I tell him that I love him, and look in his eyes.  It was him, but he also had what I would describe as a "universal knowledge" in his face.

After I had pondered the meaning of the envelope, I had a final dream where dad is sitting in a chair, now holding the envelope and opening it.  I'm still not sure what that means.

I still feel him around me from time to time and have called upon him when I've been sad, heard his voice whisper in my ear.  It's very loving and comforting.

I had never experienced death that closely, and I am eternally grateful that I was there with him.  It was the saddest and most beautiful experience of my life.  I think your gram watches out for you, and I'm sure you aren't keeping her from her journey.  Where they are, I don't think there is the movement of time as we know it.

Peace & blessings...

#10 aisLinnZ

aisLinnZ

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 130 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California
  • Interests:Playing Celtic harp, sketching, reading bks of people in a mystical perspective(Abe Lincoln,Hildegard of Bingen,William B. Yeats,Nostrodomus-regular folks , living their beliefs), enjoy forests~

Posted 11 November 2016 - 12:35 AM

View PostLil73, on 10 November 2016 - 02:07 PM, said:

I'm so sorry for the loss of your gram.  I lost my father suddenly and was with him when he passed.  I dreamed of his death 10 days before it happened.  That is the only premonition dream I've ever had concerning death.  The night I had the dream, it was vivid, we were at his funeral.

I called my mom a couple of days later and told her I had a bad feeling and if she would make an appointment for him at the doctor.  We found out it was pancreatic cancer and the next day he was gone.

I had several vivid dreams of dad in the 6 months after his death.  The most intriguing dream was me inside an unfamiliar house, trying to find an envelope that he wanted me to find.  I'm in this gray, cement basement and I see  hole in the wall near the floor  As I approach it, I see my dad walking up a few stairs to my left.  I run up and call to him, he stops at a door and turns to reach to my outstretched hand.  I tell him that I love him, and look in his eyes.  It was him, but he also had what I would describe as a "universal knowledge" in his face.

After I had pondered the meaning of the envelope, I had a final dream where dad is sitting in a chair, now holding the envelope and opening it.  I'm still not sure what that means.

I still feel him around me from time to time and have called upon him when I've been sad, heard his voice whisper in my ear.  It's very loving and comforting.

I had never experienced death that closely, and I am eternally grateful that I was there with him.  It was the saddest and most beautiful experience of my life.  I think your gram watches out for you, and I'm sure you aren't keeping her from her journey.  Where they are, I don't think there is the movement of time as we know it.

Peace & blessings...

Thank you for sharing your experience~ sounds like you and your dad were heart connected, and I am glad you feel his presence sometimes. And that's a huge shock that he left so quickly. I wonder if a dream will come to you, when the time is right- to know what the letter says~

Interesting you mention envelope - though my gram and I were super close, I loved Gramp so much too. He died though, when I was about 8, so I didn't get to share past things and etc w/him as I did with gram. Life was really not easy for me then..... Step dad was not a good person. Gramp was picking up on that- and would drive up and visit when he could- we lived more north, and way in forests. Gram would get super car sick as the roads are very curvy up hwy 1, N.CA.

But more recently, I had a letter dream too. It was set In some tropical place, on a long strip of sand. I saw gramp standing about knee high in the blue warm ocean so walked up to him. He didnt talk, but handed me a letter, which blew from my hand by wind into the water. I held my breath as long as I could trying to get it, and read it, but couldn't get it. I still wonder, what it said! But just seeing him in a dream, 30+ yrs later- was like getting to 'be' near him anyway-though a dream.

Whatever reason I always dream of gram- I don't know.....but like you said, I think she watches over me. We were super close and I miss her sooo much still. She was an angel in my young traumatized years, and I am super grateful she was able to live on, many yrs after gramp passed.

I think its amazing and sorrowful too; your premonition of your dad-but I believe very much in these things when they happen; it is harder than skeptics think- to follow your heart and act on it- it takes a heart courage no one knows unless they experienced it-as you did~
~Namaste~ to you : )
"..for those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.."  (and that's ok!~)

#11 Mikaru

Mikaru

    Anomaly

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 568 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Minnesota

Posted 13 November 2016 - 07:42 AM

View PostaisLinnZ, on 12 October 2016 - 09:48 AM, said:

Wow, yes- I admit I believe in those gut feelings. Not that I react every time I have one-but sometimes you just have that strong feeling....I am glad she had a bit of calm-it was good for her, and for you too~and you got to hold her hand;  its hard when a loved one suffers for a long time. My father in law passed w/emphysema and bladder C., and it was tough on my husband & bro in law. They got word he was going faster than first thought so flew from Cali to Ohio (in winter....well,he passed 12/23)...and they all had a last scrabble game together....and father in law was just as much a jokester(between coughing) as always! It was good for them to have that time. Husb. got back 12/21 & papa w. passed 2 days later.

Oh yah, I talk to gram a lot! I always think too-"I want gram to continue her journey~i am not trying to call her back"....that sounds weird, but it helps me not worry that my talking will divert her away from whatever etheric (whatever 'that' is~)path she is on : ) Guess I worry too much!

Thank you for sharing~

I don't believe that they're hampered in any way by us talking to them. I feel that they move on, but can still hear us.



#12 aisLinnZ

aisLinnZ

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 130 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California
  • Interests:Playing Celtic harp, sketching, reading bks of people in a mystical perspective(Abe Lincoln,Hildegard of Bingen,William B. Yeats,Nostrodomus-regular folks , living their beliefs), enjoy forests~

Posted 14 November 2016 - 12:48 PM

View PostMikaru, on 13 November 2016 - 07:42 AM, said:

I don't believe that they're hampered in any way by us talking to them. I feel that they move on, but can still hear us.

I agree. But do have questions of it too~
"..for those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.."  (and that's ok!~)

#13 Mikaru

Mikaru

    Anomaly

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 568 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Minnesota

Posted 18 November 2016 - 06:46 AM

View PostaisLinnZ, on 14 November 2016 - 12:48 PM, said:

I agree. But do have questions of it too~

Maybe that's where spirit guides come in.



#14 aisLinnZ

aisLinnZ

    Ectoplasm

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 130 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California
  • Interests:Playing Celtic harp, sketching, reading bks of people in a mystical perspective(Abe Lincoln,Hildegard of Bingen,William B. Yeats,Nostrodomus-regular folks , living their beliefs), enjoy forests~

Posted 18 November 2016 - 11:40 AM

Yes...I havent taken quiet time to feel out my guides lately....for quite a while a Native American 'White Feather' Was near alot- dreams or when meditating (not that it influences whom my guides are, but my paternal gramma is Cherokee)....and a 'group' of these beings who said to feel them in 'plural', as 'Grace' and they sort of glow (sorry,clunky description)...and 'new ones' would appear as my perspectives expand.

Guess time to venture inward and quiet my hectic mind(this yr, gawd....been a tough yr-lost 4 loved ones..grieving has been forfront much).... have you had any new guides enter in your life recently? 2016 seems to be a very shifting changing..and interesting yr ~
"..for those who believe, no words are necessary. For those who do not believe, no words are possible.."  (and that's ok!~)




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users