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Living With Someone Who Is Mentally Ill...


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#1 lorac61469

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 09:47 AM

12 years ago my father-in-law moved in with us. He has schizophrenia, dementia and is bi-polar.

It's been going ok but this past week has been rough.

He is totally "off" and I'm a nervous wreck.

He "passed-out" on Thursday and spent 6 hours calling everyone he knew telling them he had a stroke or a heart attack. (I put passed out in quotes because he has a history of faking things, my husband even watched him once lay down on the floor and then yell for help saying he passed out)
Just to be safe I took him to the ER and after 6 hours there we find out he's perfectly fine.

His psychiatrist has upped his medication but it hasn't taken effect yet.

I just feel so helpless. I guess my husband has dealt with this all his life so he can just ignore it but I can't. I am worn out.

Wondering if anyone else has dealt with anything similar.

#2 CDS

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 10:11 AM

View Postlorac61469, on 18 April 2017 - 09:47 AM, said:

12 years ago my father-in-law moved in with us. He has schizophrenia, dementia and is bi-polar.

It's been going ok but this past week has been rough.

He is totally "off" and I'm a nervous wreck.

He "passed-out" on Thursday and spent 6 hours calling everyone he knew telling them he had a stroke or a heart attack. (I put passed out in quotes because he has a history of faking things, my husband even watched him once lay down on the floor and then yell for help saying he passed out)
Just to be safe I took him to the ER and after 6 hours there we find out he's perfectly fine.

His psychiatrist has upped his medication but it hasn't taken effect yet.

I just feel so helpless. I guess my husband has dealt with this all his life so he can just ignore it but I can't. I am worn out.

Wondering if anyone else has dealt with anything similar.


You're far from alone....

My brother is schizophrenic, my sister bi-polar, I'm currently care giver for my father in-law as he has dementia, his wife has Alzheimer's, we have a service coming for her....

It's very hard but, you have to learn to detach yourself from it/them... It's not that you don't love them or anything like that. However I do have a disappointment in the whole situation. That peoples end of life is so wrought with pain and suffering.

#3 lorac61469

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 10:37 AM

View PostCDS, on 18 April 2017 - 10:11 AM, said:




You're far from alone....

My brother is schizophrenic, my sister bi-polar, I'm currently care giver for my father in-law as he has dementia, his wife has Alzheimer's, we have a service coming for her....

It's very hard but, you have to learn to detach yourself from it/them... It's not that you don't love them or anything like that. However I do have a disappointment in the whole situation. That peoples end of life is so wrought with pain and suffering.

Thanks. It's hard not to feel alone sometimes.

I need to work on the detaching, I guess that's my problem. I hear him on the phone talking crazy stuff and I worry what people are going to think. I worry that people will think we're not taking care of him.

I wonder if there are support groups, like AA or AL-ANON.

#4 MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 03:15 PM

Check this website out. If you click channels, it will ask what disease you are dealing with; click on it. It will then ask which state you're in; select the state and it'll show you where your nearest support group is. Caregiver.com

There's also, Alzheimer's & Dementia Caregiver Center. Click on Get Support and it'll give a few catagories of links to click on. Community is the one you want. It'll give you the option of Support Groups or Online Community..

I hope these help you.

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#5 lorac61469

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 06:37 PM

View PostMacCGStudy, on 18 April 2017 - 03:15 PM, said:

Check this website out. If you click channels, it will ask what disease you are dealing with; click on it. It will then ask which state you're in; select the state and it'll show you where your nearest support group is. Caregiver.com

There's also, Alzheimer's & Dementia Caregiver Center. Click on Get Support and it'll give a few catagories of links to click on. Community is the one you want. It'll give you the option of Support Groups or Online Community..

I hope these help you.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

#6 moiraesfate

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 06:59 PM

I hate to say this, but there comes a time when you can no longer take care of your loved ones. He sounds like he needs round the clock care. You can't provide that at home unless you have a live in nurse. I wish I knew what to say, honestly. But I do know that we eventually had to put my mum in a care center because we couldn't take care of her at home any more when she had cancer, and we had to do it for my husbands grandmother too when she finally reached the point where she couldn't be taken care of at home. It's a horrible thing to have to do, I know. It's heart wrenching. You will do what you need to do in the end.

#7 KlaineyGStudy

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 09:02 PM

Honestly go to your gp and tell them you need assistance looking after your father in law.  There are places that help out and don't feel embarrassed you are doing a great job in a difficult time.
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#8 MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

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Posted 18 April 2017 - 09:58 PM

View Postlorac61469, on 18 April 2017 - 06:37 PM, said:

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

You're welcome. I really hope it can help you.

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