Jump to content



Know Any Psychic Jokes?


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 tex-dingo

tex-dingo

    Orb

  • GS Member
  • 26 posts

Posted 07 July 2006 - 07:36 PM

I heard a good one just the other day.

What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the law?

A small medium at large....er.... dry.gif

hello...

cricket chirp......chirp......chirp......

#2 lilpeanut

lilpeanut

    Goblin

  • GS Member
  • PipPip
  • 369 posts
  • Location:on an island making wine....or is that whining?

Posted 07 July 2006 - 08:51 PM

I hear this one daily

You should have already known that one I thought you were the psychic around here!
I roam the world around to find myself........ and........here I am! Right where I have always been.

#3 ghostsleuth

ghostsleuth

    Anomaly

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 519 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:the innersanctum of my mind
  • Interests:psychic profiler. spirtual minister. communicating with
    the other side. helping others and teaching.

Posted 07 July 2006 - 10:14 PM

I don't know any psychic jokes, however it is healthy to have a laugh at one's self tongue.gif

Rena
She Dances Gently Upon Pointed Stone
Beneath The Waters of Neptunes throne...by Rena

http://www.ghostsleuth.com

#4 Bawdrysinger

Bawdrysinger

    Ghoul

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 211 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Newmarket, England
  • Interests:My Spitfire, the paranormal, spirituality, psychology, languages, my son, travel, inventing new and interesting ways to clear my debt. I am a mental health nurse, so spend a good deal of time with people who interact with things others can't see!

Posted 07 July 2006 - 11:15 PM

two old chestnuts here:

1. I thought to strike a happy medium was to slap Doris Stokes after she'd been on the gin.

2. I saw a sign on the town hall "psychic fair cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances"
In order to access my bank account I have a 12 digit user key, a 5 digit numerical password, a 6 digit alphabetical password, a picture password, a 4 digit pin code, a 4 digit phone code, a 6 digit sort code, and an 8 digit account number. Oh and 16 digit visa debit number with a 4 digit expiry date and and 3 digit card validation number. And a signature.  Aside from the signature I should never write any of them down.

Death is only a milestone - albeit one that is dropped on you from a very great height
- Terry Pratchett.

IPB Image

#5 Clarina1980

Clarina1980

    Vortex

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 16,721 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Swindon, Wiltshire, UK

Posted 08 July 2006 - 09:00 AM

QUOTE(Bawdrysinger @ Jul 8 2006, 08:15 AM) View Post

two old chestnuts here:


2. I saw a sign on the town hall "psychic fair cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances"



Hehe i like that one.

Me and my fiance were in the car a couple of weeks ago. We saw some signs for a psychic fair happening that day so we followed them, thought we'd check it out. After a while the signs stopped and we never did find the fair. I think you had to be psychic to find the place  laugh.gif
"True Love Is Like Ghosts, Which Everyone Talks About But Few Have Seen"

#6 paraportal

paraportal

    Ghoul

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 277 posts
  • Location:Devon, UK
  • Interests:Investigating the paranormal.

Posted 08 July 2006 - 09:25 AM

Two psychics are having a cup of tea together. One says to the othe:.

"You're fine. How am I?"

BADOOM TISH

---
Looking at paranormal evidence with an open, unbiased mind and with a yearning to determine the facts from the fakes.

#7 MooseyMoose

MooseyMoose

    Ghoul

  • GS Member
  • Pip
  • 261 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Not in PA. And by not in PA, I mean in PA. Maybe.
  • Interests:Disorder! Disorder!

Posted 08 July 2006 - 06:25 PM

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven Wright
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Biff went to a storefront psychic for some spiritual guidance. "There seems to be a horrible, dark cloud surrounding me."

"I know," said the psychic, "and for a hundred dollars, I can rid you of it."

Biff thought the fee was high, but, eager to be cured, he handed over the money to the psychic. After pocketing the fee, the psychic then pulled out a book of matches and lit one.

Then Biff asked, "What do you call this dark and horrible curse?"

The psychic waved the match down behind Biff and said, "Mexican food."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YOU MAY NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF...
He keeps shaking black crystal ball and says, "Ask again later."
Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"
Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.
His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing.
His spoon bending requires two pliers.  
During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand."
Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo."
Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.
Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.





#8 RavenHeart

RavenHeart

    Magickal Man

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,547 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:THE NOCTICULATORIUM
  • Interests:All things Paranormal, Spiritual, and Supernatural, . Love Music, Camping, Horseback Riding, Cinema, Photography, Art, Native American Story-Telling. Kundalini Reiki, Holographic Quantum Physics etc.

Posted 10 July 2006 - 06:13 AM


       They say I am "touched" and I laugh at myself all of the time!!!   tongue.gif

       How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
       ............it depends on what you want to change it into!

       Ravenheart

Edited by Ravenheart, 11 July 2006 - 05:15 AM.


#9 chilli

chilli

    Wraith

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,585 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Interests:The paranormal, travelling, food and wine, animals, politics, TV, and more

Posted 10 July 2006 - 07:22 AM

LOL these are actually pretty funny tongue.gif

#10 KlaineyGStudy

KlaineyGStudy

    Forum Manager

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,379 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling

Posted 12 July 2018 - 04:53 AM

I love these jokes...... poor Doris :confused0068:  It is always nice to have a good laugh. Lifts the vibrational energy :yes:
Posted Image


Visit us here: Facebook or Twitter

#11 MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

    Crop Circle

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,311 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Underworld
  • Interests:Meat Loaf(Actor/Singer not the food), Paranormal, Reading, Beading, Baking, Barbecuing, Cooking, Container Gardening and Music.

Posted 14 July 2018 - 12:03 PM

Q. What do you call a fat psychic?
A. A four-chin teller.

Q.What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A. A small medium at large!

Why do you need to make an appointment with a psychic? Surely they know you're coming.

"I'm a skilled mind-reader. I know what you're thinking.
You don't believe me."

"How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand..."

Q: "What's the difference between a pizza and a tarot reader?"
A: "A pizza can feed a family of four."

"I almost had a Psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met."

Aquène kah nahonnushagk(Peace and farewell),
WaûtuckquesSóchepo (SnowRabbit)

The Unofficial GhostStudy Easter Bunny


Posted Image


My Shop


#12 KlaineyGStudy

KlaineyGStudy

    Forum Manager

  • Root Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,379 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling

Posted 14 July 2018 - 11:15 PM

:New: Four chin teller :New:
Posted Image


Visit us here: Facebook or Twitter

#13 MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

    Crop Circle

  • GS Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,311 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Location:Underworld
  • Interests:Meat Loaf(Actor/Singer not the food), Paranormal, Reading, Beading, Baking, Barbecuing, Cooking, Container Gardening and Music.

Posted 16 July 2018 - 12:39 AM

:D

Aquène kah nahonnushagk(Peace and farewell),
WaûtuckquesSóchepo (SnowRabbit)

The Unofficial GhostStudy Easter Bunny


Posted Image


My Shop





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users