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#1 noopy

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Posted 03 September 2017 - 03:03 PM

16 days ago I had to take my beloved little 3 kg half chihuahua half mini foxy dog tobe euthanased.  She was born on the 6th of april 1999 and I had had her for 18 years and 4 months.  She had developed severe peridontal disease about 5 years ago and due to her heart murmur and her age we could not have her teeth fixed.  It was really just antibiotics every month or so for a year or two and for the past severalmonths she went blind...partially deaf...partially incontinent and suffered terrible bouts of constipation.  Yet she ate happily and eagerly every day and we would take her out to the toilet outside etc.  she gradually these last few months started to urinate alot and unknown to us she was developing a hernia through all the straining to defecate....anyway I kept her warm and comfortable and refused to put her down making every effort every day to keep her fed, warm, and loved.  The hernia had now become a large bulge at her back end and very suddenly she could not walk properly and was walking with stiff  back legs and sometimes falling over so I had to do the unbearable ...that is 16 days ago.  When my daughter and I took her to the vet she seemed unusually peaceful and without any angst as she had normally always shown when taken out in the car...very strange behaviour for her.  It really did seem like she knew and was ready to go.  I sat outside in my car in tears whilst my daughter (who she knew and loved) took her inside wrapped in her little blanket and held her as the vet put her to sleep, stroking her little head and reaassuring her.  
I have been in some kind of strange trance like sad sort of state these past 16 days...but have not felt her presence at all until this morning when I was in a dream and out of the blue there she was all curled up under a table sleeping...no reason for her to be in this dream at all..just appeared there and was sleeping peacefully...so I reached down and kissed her gently on the side of the face...wishing she would wake up but she was so sleepy.  I have been in a sort of shock like state of almost denial but in so much pain from  my loss I can't feel anything day to day. I know she is around me but I saw her for the first time unexpectedly this morning in my dream....I have always had paranormal experiences since I was a child so really have wondered why I have not felt her presence since her death.  It is so strange starting each day after 18 years without my little girl...so strange.

#2 lorac61469

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Posted 03 September 2017 - 03:24 PM

My condolences on the loss of your fur baby.

#3 KlaineyGStudy

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Posted 03 September 2017 - 11:45 PM

Hello and Posted Imageto the boards.

I know exactly how you feel  :cwy:  I had to put our old girl down too. It is a very hard decision to make but a  kind one.

As for not sensing her until your dream, I think you weren't ready until then :yes: I also believe you need to look towards a new start to each morning, take baby steps at first, and find some thing positive.

I also know it is a great place to share  your paranormal experiences :innocent0005:
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#4 noopy

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Posted 04 September 2017 - 01:12 AM

Thanking you both for your sympathy and advice.....I do feel so very alone in all this and utterly hopeless.  This is way beyond my emotional capabilities and hence I have found myself distant and angry and sad etc etc...I have had alot of paranormal experiences in my life time, things that are very strange.  I could go on about those but right now I am trying to process this loss and have had the joy sucked right out of me.  Thanking you again.

#5 KlaineyGStudy

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Posted 04 September 2017 - 04:04 AM

Please, I hope you will accept my positive thoughts and wellness for you.  I am sorry you are in a difficult phase of your life. Please know this is a normal reaction to your grief and loss.  I found some things really helped me live with my losses.

These things worked for me...

When I get negative feelings over the loss of my loved ones I  change the way I am thinking!

Instead of focusing energy thinking about the negative things before their death I will only think of the positive times I had with them. I know they wouldn't want me upset, negative and grieving their loss because they love usPosted Image and want us to be happy.  I also think to myself there is nothing I can do to change what has happened. The tears don't help I wish they could and I don't want to be sad and spending my energy on what I have LOST but when I can contact them!

Dreams of our loved ones are so special and gives such comfort. I would have changed my thinking about your 16 days without contact...... Instead of thinking I hadn't had any contact,  I know we dream every night and we remember little if any of those dreams. SO... I would be thinking I just can't remember the visit.

I like to think our dreams are one way our loved ones can visit us and  I like to think if I am thinking of them then they are thinking of me :yes:

I also found writing about them helped too
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#6 MrsFrootloops

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Posted 04 September 2017 - 08:32 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss noopy.
Do whatever makes you happy, whatever fruits your loops.

#7 noopy

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Posted 04 September 2017 - 11:09 PM

Thanks. Trying to be as positive as possible.  Trying to be happy. Just going to take time.  Most times I am  numb with no feelings but know I amfeeling very sad and lost inside.  Time......

#8 KlaineyGStudy

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Posted 05 September 2017 - 01:21 AM

View Postnoopy, on 04 September 2017 - 11:09 PM, said:

Thanks. Trying to be as positive as possible.  Trying to be happy. Just going to take time.  Most times I am  numb with no feelings but know I amfeeling very sad and lost inside.  Time......

I am glad, you seem to be doing what is best for you. I have so many precious memories of my cats and other animals and the human variety that have passed over. I am glad they are all together and not suffering anymore. I think you are right when you wrote your little dog must have known it was her time and she was going off to a better place.
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