Anyone Ever Just Feel
Posted 01 January 2008 - 07:41 PM
Posted 01 January 2008 - 09:14 PM
I think you are right, it is like after all the emotion creating chemicals are used up---I just never had absolutley no emotion. It is like watching a film in a detached sort of way.
Posted 02 January 2008 - 07:20 AM
The last time I really remember feeling that way was in 2002. It was a difficult time for me... my father died at the end of 2001 and my grandfather (who was the kindest, gentlest, wisest man you could ever hope to meet) died at the beginning of 2002, I was going through another round of court battles over visitation for my son (his father wanted visitation -- and the last thing I could possibly do in my child's interest is let his father at him to physically and emotionally and sexually abuse him), I was seriously ill (repeated bouts of pneumonia left me basically incapacitated) and we had the FBI breathing down our necks because my first husband "fit the profile" after 9/11 and my marriage was falling apart. I simply shut down and walked through months like a zombie... just doing what I needed to do and not really feeling anything. When I did feel again I broke down for a long while.
I think if you feel numb you should really make an effort to go talk to someone professional. When it has happened to me it's been times when everything has just been TOO overwhelming in my life -- I think it's a survival mechanism. If it's the same for you, you're going through a lot and talking will help you begin to process the emotions that are going to eat at you if you don't deal with them.
Posted 02 January 2008 - 08:01 AM
Forgive me if I am repeating others here as I am a little short on time at the moment and haven't read the resposes to this thread.
I know from talking to therapists, reading, and my own experiences that you are right on the money! It is stress. When we get so overwhelmed, we tend to automatically shut-down emotionally. This is a great coping mechanism, unless it is over-learned and becomes habitual, (as was the case with me). It took me years to thaw out old, repressed and "frozen" emotions....(it wasn't the most fun thing I ever experienced either). I think you are on the right track, keep talking about it and connecting with others. I found that it was important to have the social support of family and friends when we are under so much stress. I hope things turn back around for you soon.
Posted 02 January 2008 - 08:14 AM
Posted 02 January 2008 - 09:01 AM
Posted 02 January 2008 - 10:13 AM
Yes, I am on antidepressants already. I have to see the neuro in a couple of weeks, so I will ask her. Maybe some of the other meds are causing it. The other stuff I really can't change right now, and I'm trying to get family to come down here to help (I am only child with MS, and my Mom has been ill).
Posted 02 January 2008 - 10:45 AM
Is it possible to hire (perhaps Mom's insurance) someone to help her/you out a bit?
In my experience, unless I ended up in the hospital, NO ONE was available to take over care for my uncle. All kinds of excuses about being too far away or too busy, when all I was asking for was for someone to cover so I could have one day off per month...
(yeah, I'm still mad.)
Posted 02 January 2008 - 12:05 PM
And then we have Jan to contend with on top of that. It takes me til after Christmas before I start to get excited about anything. I really don't get to feeling good til the spring thaw!
Personally for me I think alot of its hormones mixed with seasonal depression. Working everyday helps, but there's been some winters that the weather was so bad, we'd have just days on end of grey skies and frozen ground that I would be housebound for a week or more and be so depressed I'd have to go to a doctor. The last time I went over this, the doctor said I have seasonal depression.
Having erratic hormones doesn't help the matter either!
Anyway now that the holidays have passed, hopefully within the next few weeks you'll start to feel normal again.
Posted 02 January 2008 - 02:11 PM
Posted 03 January 2008 - 03:54 AM
Don't stress about the stress, disassociation is a completely normal and healthy side effect of taking antidepressants, and sometimes just from normal day-to-day life. If you have any questions or you need to talk, please feel free to PM me.
Posted 03 January 2008 - 06:49 AM
Thank you all, dunno what I would do without you guys--sniff--
Posted 04 January 2008 - 02:39 PM
Im not suprise that you feel numb though. With everything youve been struggling with lately it comes as no suprise you feel like you have no emotions left.
Your probably drained and need a good rest hun.
Ive only felt like that once and that was when my mum was dying with cancer. I had all the emotions as I was nursing her and when it came to the evening of her passing I was emotionally numb.
I think sometimes its our brains way of coping, it shuts down so we dont feel anything and can carry on and get through the worst times.
Im sure youll hit a high again soon though, my thoughts are with you though xxx