Carrie: (Unscrews the metal covering.)
Me: (Takes the screws out and lays them neatly on the table.) You see that?
Me: The thing I have my finger on.
Me: Unscrew that from the motherboard.
Carrie: (Unscrews the Sound card from the motherboard)
Me: Now GENNNNTLY but firmly pull the sound card out of the slot.
Carrie: Like this? Mmmm!
Me: (Sharp intake of breath) Yes. Hand it to me.
Carrie: (Hands the old Sound Card to CK)
Me: Now then, ease the new one in sloooowly. Do this right and it will snap into place perfectly)
Carrie: (Eases the New Sound Card in)
Me: Good. GOOD! Here, gimme. Let me attach the wire to the DVD Recorder/Player.
Me: Good. We are are now wired for sound.
Carrie: (Hug and kiss)
Me: Now we'll just put the cover back on and reattach all the USB cables.
(We put the cover back on and secure it.)
Me: (Lifts the computer back on the table) Ready for some power?
Me: (Goes under the table and plugs in the power cord.) Contact!
Carrie: Contact it is! (Turns on the power)
(The Computer boots perfectly. Username and Password verified.
Sound comes through the Bose Speakers. "A Hard Day's Night" plays.)
Carrie: (Reattaches all the USB connections.)
(The computer silently protests as it struggles for a moment to catch up)
Me: Looks and sounds good.
Carrie: Can I plug in my camera? I really need to upload those New Orleans photos to my hard drive.
Me: (Examines the USB Hub) No more inputs left.
Carrie: Well, I have another USB Hub I can plug in. Let me take this plug out and plug this other USB hub in and....
Me: No DON'T!!
*PFFfffffff* (a puff of blue smoke rises from the computer)
Me: TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!
Carrie: (Unplugs the USB Hub and all connectors)
Me: (Dives for the power cable and unplugs the computer!)
Carrie: (Covers her mouth with her hands)
Me: (Looks at the Power Indicator on the computer. It is still on, then it slowly fades and goes out.)
Carrie: (Watches as I take the cover off and examines the inside of the computer.)
Me: Okay. Plug it into that other power outlet over there.
Carrie (Plugs in to the other power outlet.)
Me: (Pushes the Power button)
Carrie: How bad is it?
Me: (sigh) Bad enough.
Carrie: Can you fix it?
Me: With the state of the art collection of "stone knives and bear skins" that I have in my possession?
No. We need a professional to fix this.
To make a long story short, the computer was fixed. The Motherboard had been fried, so I needed to get a new one.
I had to wait two weeks. Add in Labor and Tax, the cost was $283.52.
Edited by Captain Kundalini, 23 March 2017 - 11:50 PM.