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Freetown Police Department: The Dangers Of The Pukwudgies

Freetown Freetown State Forest Pukwudgies Dangerous Pukwudgies

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#1 MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

 

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Posted 26 May 2017 - 07:07 PM

Freetown Police Department

For immediate release - please share

CROSSING WARNING SIGN PLACEMENT

The Freetown Police Department has ordered the placement of a crossing warning sign to call attention and alert motorists to unexpected entries onto the roadway that may call for a reduction of speed or immediate action in the interest of traffic safety (Under the guidelines of Section 2C.37p of the Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices).

The location of this crossing warning sign is on Slab Bridge Road, approximately 500 yards northwest of the entrance to the Freetown State Forest Headquarters. However, these crossing conflicts may occur randomly over a larger segment of the roadway and all along the property of the Freetown State Forest.

Animals on the road are a major cause of crashes in this area of Freetown and are becoming more frequent. As a result, crashes can result in significant property damage or serious injury to drivers and passengers. In the past, the installation of “DEER” crossing signs were the most widely used measure to reduce animal-vehicle collisions. However, we feel that the installation of just another “DEER” crossing warning sign would only contribute to the overuse of these signs and lead to a general disregard by the motoring public. Plus it does not identify the real problem at hand…. The Pukwudgie.

It has been widely reported that the Freetown State Forest is the home of these mythical creatures known as the Pukwudgies. The danger the Pukwudgies present to the motoring public is that they can appear and disappear at will by using its magical powers. They are also known to shoot poison arrows near and across the roadway in violation of MGL Chapter 131 Section 58. It is believed that Pukwudgies also have the following traits and abilities: They are masters at remaining undetected in the forests, they can transform into a walking porcupine, they can create fire at will (don’t worry, the Freetown Fire Department and State Forest Fire Control have countermeasures in place), and they control the spirits of their deceased victims (unfortunately, we have no countermeasures for this).

Lastly, so the crossing warning sign does not lose its effectiveness, we have contacted local experts to certify the continued use of this sign and when it should be removed. As of right now the sign will be posted during the mating season of the Pukwudgie, where they are most likely to be crossing the roadway in search of a mate. This year, it is believed that the season begins and ends on “April Fools' Day”.

As always... Drive Carefully.

For more information on the Pukwudgie you may wish to visit: http://www.paranorma...s-a-puckwudgie/


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#2 NightWalkerGStudy

 

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Posted 26 May 2017 - 07:28 PM

Uh...  wow... and...  interesting...  :confused0068:
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#3 MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

 

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Posted 26 May 2017 - 07:41 PM

Got to love the Freetown Police Department. Apparently they put it up every April first.
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#4 Snickers

 

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Posted 27 May 2017 - 08:58 PM

haha  that would make people pay attention as they drive down that road.....
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#5 MacCionoadha BeanSidhe

 

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Posted 27 May 2017 - 11:43 PM

The Freetown Police posted it on Facebook. When my Sister read it, she burst out laughing. She was laughing so hard, I thought she was going to pee her pants. :lol:
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