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Human Remains In House Making Dog Nervous.


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#1 Qimualaniq656

 

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Posted 17 May 2019 - 04:33 PM

Hi everyone,

We've had the ashes of my significant other's co-parent sitting here in our apartment for a few months. I finally noticed that my dog is acting nervous about it, after we go to sleep. She has been sitting looking at the box of ashes, or sleeping but pointing in that direction, or else sitting and looking at me like she expects me to do something. So I moved the box to the laundry room, which is the one room we all spend the least amount of time in. We keep the door closed. The dog changed direction, and started sleeping with her head pointed in that direction. So I put the box of ashes in the water heater room, which is out in our patio.  After that,  the next night the dog barked twice at the sliding glass door, but from the kitchen.  Last night, she sat staring at me as if she expects me to do something, then laid between the sofa and  the rocking chair, as if to block the way. This was only during the early part of the night, maybe 12 to 2 am. Then she behaves normally, and sleeps on the bed.

As to why we still have the ashes, well.  My s/o is a stroke survivor with no motivation, so he's not going to arrange a ceremony.  Both of her sons have problems, and they are not going to do it. There is no money for anything. The best we could do is maybe a gathering in the desert, and I don't see any of these guys doing anything yet. I could possibly ask for the ashes to be transferred to my s/o's brother's house, where his son is staying, but my s/o is not open minded about the issue with the dog noticing something going on.

Should I remove the ashes completely? I already tried having a kind but firm "talk" with the deceased co-parent.  I don't think I'm noticing anything myself, but I pay attention to the dog.

Thanks for your thoughts.

#2 EVP

 

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Posted 17 May 2019 - 10:48 PM

This might be a worthy read in helping with a decision.

https://wagwalking.c...ell-human-ashes
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#3 Qimualaniq656

 

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Posted 17 May 2019 - 11:15 PM

Thank you for that.  My dog never met the co-parent, and the box is now outside.  I put the box in a plastic bag, in the water heater closet, closed the door, then went back in and closed the sliding glass door. I guess I will continue to observe her behavior with this situation.  It is not usual for her to come and look at me as if expecting me to do something, nor to lie between the furniture like that, at night.  She sometimes faces the front door while waiting for my s/o to come home, during the day. That's pretty normal.  The barking could have been someone walking by, but in that case she would usually go right up to the sliding glass door to bark. It's weird. I'll just keep observing for now.

#4 moiraesfate

 

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Posted 18 May 2019 - 02:20 PM

It's quite possible the person is connected to the urn. When my mom died, the funeral home had what they called "the visiting room". The family could pay $10 a month to store the ashes there for up to a year so that loved ones could go visit their lost in quiet and peace. It has a bunch of glass cases with urns. You may like to consider such a thing and see if any of the funeral homes in your area have one.

For me, losing her was so painful, I never went to visit.

#5 Qimualaniq656

 

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Posted 18 May 2019 - 02:42 PM

 moiraesfate, on 18 May 2019 - 02:20 PM, said:

It's quite possible the person is connected to the urn. When my mom died, the funeral home had what they called "the visiting room". The family could pay $10 a month to store the ashes there for up to a year so that loved ones could go visit their lost in quiet and peace. It has a bunch of glass cases with urns. You may like to consider such a thing and see if any of the funeral homes in your area have one.

For me, losing her was so painful, I never went to visit.

I'm sorry you went through that.  Thank you, that is something to consider.

#6 Ladydi

 

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Posted 20 May 2019 - 03:46 PM

If you are religious you could try placing a cross in the box or bad and/or holy water. Usually ghosts are not affected by such things but it's worth a try. Or would your s/o be open minded enough to have a talk of their own with their mother? Maybe if the s/o did it, the mother would listen and go to heaven.
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#7 True North

 

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Posted 20 May 2019 - 08:46 PM

Yup, your dog's behavior definitely makes it sound like you could have one or more extra residents on the property.

Whatever the cause of the behavior, I think it would be healthy to have a proper ceremony for the deceased. Nothing fancy, just needs to be honest, and done respectfully. You don't need money. All you need is a nice place to scatter the ashes; a peaceful, natural setting a little off the beaten trail. Somewhere the family can have a private moment together.

#8 KlaineyGStudy

 

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Posted 21 May 2019 - 12:47 AM

I have both my parent's and our trusty old dog's ashes in my room and I wouldn't want them any other place. But agree with all the good advice above you need to feel comfortable in your own space.
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#9 earthlydelitesGStudy

 

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Posted 24 May 2019 - 12:47 AM

Definitely need to feel comfortable so you might just need to make a few different changes to see what feels right for everyone.
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